And not just because I have to wash the dishes! All three of my teen girls are away at camp this week. I am thankful they were able to go but I miss the noise of their chatting, singing and yes, even their arguing.
I like my people. They are articulate, intelligent, loving and beautiful girls. They each have fabulous senses of humor - all very different though. I love how they come check on me each in different ways. I love how they love on each other and their friends. To see their hearts hurting for each other and for those they love but to see them encourage each other is amazing. I am a blessed mama. And I miss my girls. I hope they are having a blast.
In Christ's Love,
Peg
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Laughter with friends...
In the past week I have been blessed with several opportunities to hang out with my girlfriends and talk. And laugh! We know how to laugh! I forgot how good it is to laugh so hard that the tears are streaming.
I really think the Lord gives me these amazing friends to show me a slice of heaven here on earth. And to remind me that lives shared are so much richer with blessings.
Thank you, sweet friends far and near for laughing as well as crying with me. You know I will always chose laughter over the tears!
In Christ's Love,
Peg
I really think the Lord gives me these amazing friends to show me a slice of heaven here on earth. And to remind me that lives shared are so much richer with blessings.
Thank you, sweet friends far and near for laughing as well as crying with me. You know I will always chose laughter over the tears!
In Christ's Love,
Peg
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
My year isn't going like I wanted...
Here's why the blog has been neglected and ignored the last year:
It's been a HARD year. A very hard year. One of the hardest I've been through in all my 42+ years. It has in no way gone like I thought it would.
It started with my mom being on vacation one week in April last year to not being able to walk across the room 10 days later. Many tests, pushing and advocating for herself and arguing to get a final diagnosis of Stage IV non-small cell lung cancer in a woman who hadn't smoked. She fought well, fought hard but it was already just everywhere and kept spreading because it was so very aggressive. She passed away November 19, 2011. We miss her still.
In the midst of all of the final months and days for my mother, we lost our dear friend Dawson. He was a man of integrity, love, honor and just an amazing friend to all who knew him. Our sweet Charlotte is named for his beloved wife Charlotte. We never met her but the stories we heard about her spirit, her sense of humor, and her heart caused us to want to capture that joy in one of our daughters. I'm happy to say our Charlotte's sense of humor is an entity in and of itself - just like her namesake. Our sweet Henry Thomas is named for Dawson too. He was Thomas D. Spivey. Someone asked us where the name came from and we said "From all three sides of the family." and got the strangest looks when we explained it was from my side, Michael's side and the Lord's side (church). We miss Dawson still. He loved so well. If my Henry Thomas loves as well then I will count his a good life.
The day we said our last goodbyes to Dawson we came home to several inches of water in our downstairs. The water main inside the house had burst and sprayed water all over our laundry room, family room, our closet etc. It was a huge mess. Overwhelming in it's hugeness. Thankfully our insurance company was very good at working with us and assessing what needed to be done very quickly. Still, it took (and is taking) some time to repair the damage done. We've had to rip out the floor again by the a/c unit because it dumped water under the floor! So we're still fixing and repairing the damage done nearly a year later.
Then Mom died. Our relationship was complicated and while I was able to visit her just a few weeks before she died to say goodbye it didn't seem like near enough time to say what needed to be said for a lifetime. I still pick up the phone and dial her number about once a week. To be honest, I had a very hard time dealing with the huge losses of Mom and Dawson back to back coupled with the chaos my house was in through the winter. My kids were struggling to deal with it all and then there was their mama falling apart. It was a very dark time in my life. I don't think I have ever been so sad, so overwhelmed, so lonely in spite of the many people in my life. Thankfully, I have people who love me enough to say "Honey, you have to do something. You aren't yourself." And I got some help. Thank the Lord for doctors, meds and friends who care enough to say something even when it is hard to say.
Imagine our surprise when the Lord blessed us with another pregnancy this year. If you know me at all, you know that having another child is always considered a blessing but just because we are pregnant doesn't guarantee we bring home a babby. It is what it is. We had a miscarriage in June. We had just announced three weeks earlier. We are very sad and working through our grief.
The transparency is hard in this situation because truth of the matter is people just don't know what to do with the rawness of it. That we would be so very sad when we know this may be the outcome of any pregnancy is hard for some people to fathom. Of course, many people don't understand why we'd want more children - don't we have "enough" already? We see children as a gift, a blessing and we love them - no matter how they come. That's hard for a lot of people in our lives to understand. So that adds another level of grief and one more thing we can't talk about to anyone. I would like to be able to talk about it but I completely understand that people are uncomfortable with the depth of our grief. Of their own emotions. It is ok. But it doesn't discount that we feel this way. I really won't fall apart if you ask me how I'm doing. Most days.
My year did not go the way I thought it would. My summer isn't happening the way I thought it should/would. Yet in the midst of it all the Lord is there. He is there in the way my people helped us travel when Mom was sick, there when the water was everywhere and the floors needed ripping out, there when I was so sad and alone to put a hand out and say "Come out of the dark, you don't belong there." There when we announced we were pregnant - as many people who are sceptical about the size of our family there are three times as many who think another child is a blessing and are so happy for us. And then those same people were equally heartbroken for us when the pregnancy ended in a loss. The Lord was there in the midst of it when friends brought dinner, came and stayed with my people while I had surgery, when friends just came to sit with me as I recovered and he was there in the room when my beloved put his arms around me and prayed for strength for me to get through it all when I said I can't do this again. So while things have not gone the way I thought they would they have gone exactly the way the Lord knew they would and he is there every step of the way. I sit in his lap more often than not. I'm thankful for the option.
So I say all this to say I haven't posted because to be honest the filter is gone and I would not have wanted to alienate any more people than I already do just by being me. I want you to want to read because - well, truth of the matter - I'm vain like that. I want to share my heart and my life but have you walking away thinking and laughing more times than not. Bear with me. I have no idea where I go from here but the Lord does and I most want to be used by Him in all things. So my year isn't going like I wanted but it is going somewhere.
In Clear View and In His Love,
Peg
It's been a HARD year. A very hard year. One of the hardest I've been through in all my 42+ years. It has in no way gone like I thought it would.
It started with my mom being on vacation one week in April last year to not being able to walk across the room 10 days later. Many tests, pushing and advocating for herself and arguing to get a final diagnosis of Stage IV non-small cell lung cancer in a woman who hadn't smoked. She fought well, fought hard but it was already just everywhere and kept spreading because it was so very aggressive. She passed away November 19, 2011. We miss her still.
In the midst of all of the final months and days for my mother, we lost our dear friend Dawson. He was a man of integrity, love, honor and just an amazing friend to all who knew him. Our sweet Charlotte is named for his beloved wife Charlotte. We never met her but the stories we heard about her spirit, her sense of humor, and her heart caused us to want to capture that joy in one of our daughters. I'm happy to say our Charlotte's sense of humor is an entity in and of itself - just like her namesake. Our sweet Henry Thomas is named for Dawson too. He was Thomas D. Spivey. Someone asked us where the name came from and we said "From all three sides of the family." and got the strangest looks when we explained it was from my side, Michael's side and the Lord's side (church). We miss Dawson still. He loved so well. If my Henry Thomas loves as well then I will count his a good life.
The day we said our last goodbyes to Dawson we came home to several inches of water in our downstairs. The water main inside the house had burst and sprayed water all over our laundry room, family room, our closet etc. It was a huge mess. Overwhelming in it's hugeness. Thankfully our insurance company was very good at working with us and assessing what needed to be done very quickly. Still, it took (and is taking) some time to repair the damage done. We've had to rip out the floor again by the a/c unit because it dumped water under the floor! So we're still fixing and repairing the damage done nearly a year later.
Then Mom died. Our relationship was complicated and while I was able to visit her just a few weeks before she died to say goodbye it didn't seem like near enough time to say what needed to be said for a lifetime. I still pick up the phone and dial her number about once a week. To be honest, I had a very hard time dealing with the huge losses of Mom and Dawson back to back coupled with the chaos my house was in through the winter. My kids were struggling to deal with it all and then there was their mama falling apart. It was a very dark time in my life. I don't think I have ever been so sad, so overwhelmed, so lonely in spite of the many people in my life. Thankfully, I have people who love me enough to say "Honey, you have to do something. You aren't yourself." And I got some help. Thank the Lord for doctors, meds and friends who care enough to say something even when it is hard to say.
Imagine our surprise when the Lord blessed us with another pregnancy this year. If you know me at all, you know that having another child is always considered a blessing but just because we are pregnant doesn't guarantee we bring home a babby. It is what it is. We had a miscarriage in June. We had just announced three weeks earlier. We are very sad and working through our grief.
The transparency is hard in this situation because truth of the matter is people just don't know what to do with the rawness of it. That we would be so very sad when we know this may be the outcome of any pregnancy is hard for some people to fathom. Of course, many people don't understand why we'd want more children - don't we have "enough" already? We see children as a gift, a blessing and we love them - no matter how they come. That's hard for a lot of people in our lives to understand. So that adds another level of grief and one more thing we can't talk about to anyone. I would like to be able to talk about it but I completely understand that people are uncomfortable with the depth of our grief. Of their own emotions. It is ok. But it doesn't discount that we feel this way. I really won't fall apart if you ask me how I'm doing. Most days.
My year did not go the way I thought it would. My summer isn't happening the way I thought it should/would. Yet in the midst of it all the Lord is there. He is there in the way my people helped us travel when Mom was sick, there when the water was everywhere and the floors needed ripping out, there when I was so sad and alone to put a hand out and say "Come out of the dark, you don't belong there." There when we announced we were pregnant - as many people who are sceptical about the size of our family there are three times as many who think another child is a blessing and are so happy for us. And then those same people were equally heartbroken for us when the pregnancy ended in a loss. The Lord was there in the midst of it when friends brought dinner, came and stayed with my people while I had surgery, when friends just came to sit with me as I recovered and he was there in the room when my beloved put his arms around me and prayed for strength for me to get through it all when I said I can't do this again. So while things have not gone the way I thought they would they have gone exactly the way the Lord knew they would and he is there every step of the way. I sit in his lap more often than not. I'm thankful for the option.
So I say all this to say I haven't posted because to be honest the filter is gone and I would not have wanted to alienate any more people than I already do just by being me. I want you to want to read because - well, truth of the matter - I'm vain like that. I want to share my heart and my life but have you walking away thinking and laughing more times than not. Bear with me. I have no idea where I go from here but the Lord does and I most want to be used by Him in all things. So my year isn't going like I wanted but it is going somewhere.
In Clear View and In His Love,
Peg
Monday, July 23, 2012
Another year down...
Not that we ever really stop school but we are testing this week so I do count this as the end of our year for practical purposes. It is so funny to test because truth be told testing really isn't, in my opinion, a true way to gauge how much my kids have learned in a year. We do it because we need to for the state we live in - really no other reason.
What we do use for checking progress is varied and based on LIFE. Yes, LIFE! So this year here is what we've learned in no particular order:
How to read aloud and nurse a wee babe at the same time,
How to change a diaper and read simultaneously,
How to schedule the day so that everyone gets a nap (and by everyone I mean mama - lol)
That my girls know how to run the household when I need/want them to do it. Having a newborn last year this time was a blessing in many ways but one of the most treasured is having my girls take really good care of me and the rest of the house while I just loved on Henry. I didn't need any extra hands to come in to help because not only did I have them but they were more than willing and able to manage meals, laundry, etc. We realized that we'd raised them very well when friends brought meals and my girls invited them in, accepted their gifts graciously and then praised the Lord after they left for the provision.
That boys are very different than girls. Really, really different. In every way. I love that.
I'm sure there are many other things but those are the ones that come to mind right off.
Now I'm sure along about now you are wondering about the book learning and whether or not any of that actually took place. Why yes it did, now that you asked. And we have many a paid library fine to show for it.
I have to say I really appreciate the local librarians not blinking an eye when we come in and check out forty to fifty books at a shot. The thing that brings me the most joy is seeing and hearing my kids discussing books they've read and sharing books amongst each other. Nothing like hearing "You have GOT to read this book Mom!" from your kids. Such a cool thing to hear. And to see them dig out books and research materials to learn more about a period of time or a place they've read about makes my heart just sing.
The discussions to be had here at La Geron are as varied as the people who live here. I love hearing their different perspectives on situations and things we are learning about. These kids constantly amaze me at the way they love to learn. I'm especially proud of my one dd who is the first to admit math is not her gig but still continued to persevere through three different types of Algebra programs til she finally feels she conquered it and her fear of it. I love seeing that determination in her. It will carry her far in life. Sometimes the lesson to be learned isn't really about math. It is about sucking it up and doing the hard thing because it needs to be done. And doing it with a heart, while not exactly cheerful, that is obedient.
What we've seen this year is that work, even when it is hard, is the best way to get to the goal. And being persistent while being consistent is a great combination. So, to sum it all up, we grew a lot this year and sure learned a ton. A successful year finished again.
ICL,
Peg
I have to add a note to this - I haven't been blogging at all the last year plus - this is actually the post I wrote last year at this time and didn't post for some reason or another. It seemed to fit today as I just got those tests scores back for all my people.
I want to say the year since has been a time of many ups and many more downs but in all of it the life we've chosen to live - a life for the Lord, for each other - has shown me more times than I care to say that we have chosen well. My people love each other, love the Lord and love others very well. One cannot ask for more. I am blessed beyond measure. We've lived life, loved well and done some school in the midst of it all. Another successful year down. May the Lord be with you always.
In Christ's Abundant Love,
Peg
What we do use for checking progress is varied and based on LIFE. Yes, LIFE! So this year here is what we've learned in no particular order:
How to read aloud and nurse a wee babe at the same time,
How to change a diaper and read simultaneously,
How to schedule the day so that everyone gets a nap (and by everyone I mean mama - lol)
That my girls know how to run the household when I need/want them to do it. Having a newborn last year this time was a blessing in many ways but one of the most treasured is having my girls take really good care of me and the rest of the house while I just loved on Henry. I didn't need any extra hands to come in to help because not only did I have them but they were more than willing and able to manage meals, laundry, etc. We realized that we'd raised them very well when friends brought meals and my girls invited them in, accepted their gifts graciously and then praised the Lord after they left for the provision.
That boys are very different than girls. Really, really different. In every way. I love that.
I'm sure there are many other things but those are the ones that come to mind right off.
Now I'm sure along about now you are wondering about the book learning and whether or not any of that actually took place. Why yes it did, now that you asked. And we have many a paid library fine to show for it.
I have to say I really appreciate the local librarians not blinking an eye when we come in and check out forty to fifty books at a shot. The thing that brings me the most joy is seeing and hearing my kids discussing books they've read and sharing books amongst each other. Nothing like hearing "You have GOT to read this book Mom!" from your kids. Such a cool thing to hear. And to see them dig out books and research materials to learn more about a period of time or a place they've read about makes my heart just sing.
The discussions to be had here at La Geron are as varied as the people who live here. I love hearing their different perspectives on situations and things we are learning about. These kids constantly amaze me at the way they love to learn. I'm especially proud of my one dd who is the first to admit math is not her gig but still continued to persevere through three different types of Algebra programs til she finally feels she conquered it and her fear of it. I love seeing that determination in her. It will carry her far in life. Sometimes the lesson to be learned isn't really about math. It is about sucking it up and doing the hard thing because it needs to be done. And doing it with a heart, while not exactly cheerful, that is obedient.
What we've seen this year is that work, even when it is hard, is the best way to get to the goal. And being persistent while being consistent is a great combination. So, to sum it all up, we grew a lot this year and sure learned a ton. A successful year finished again.
ICL,
Peg
I have to add a note to this - I haven't been blogging at all the last year plus - this is actually the post I wrote last year at this time and didn't post for some reason or another. It seemed to fit today as I just got those tests scores back for all my people.
I want to say the year since has been a time of many ups and many more downs but in all of it the life we've chosen to live - a life for the Lord, for each other - has shown me more times than I care to say that we have chosen well. My people love each other, love the Lord and love others very well. One cannot ask for more. I am blessed beyond measure. We've lived life, loved well and done some school in the midst of it all. Another successful year down. May the Lord be with you always.
In Christ's Abundant Love,
Peg
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